Sometimes it’s wrong to pray.
Let me qualify that: We still need your help for the minyan. And, prayer is a good thing. It’s only that some times are not the appropriate times for prayer.
Ironically, we will feel tempted to pray when it’s not time to daven. The opposite is also true. When it’s time to pray, we want to chat, bathe the kids, even study Talmud – anything but pray.
So, when is it not good to pray?
You’d agree that we should pray for health, nachas and the money with which to enjoy it. We should also daven when we wish to express gratitude to G-d. The most common time that people pray is when they face a crisis. A friend of mine was once on an El Al flight that had to make an emergency landing. He says that everyone on that plane, regardless of their religious beliefs, including the pilot over the PA system, all said the Shema as the wheels hit the ground.
There you see the instinctive, built-in faith that every Jew carries. Had I been on that plane, I would have been more nervous after hearing the pilot pray. Instead of davening, he should have focused on landing that plane.
One of Jewish history’s most nail-biting moments happened as the fledgling Jewish nation stood trapped between the Red Sea and the mighty Egyptian army. Other than surrender to Egypt or commit mass suicide by drowning, they seemed to be all out of options.
What would you have done? Prayed?
Moses, as a responsible leader, began to pray. But G-d cut him off and scolded him that this was a crisis, not a time to pray. Instead of pleading for mercy, G-d wanted Moshe to lead the people straight ahead, into the sea. G-d’s message was: You have a mission: Get to Mt. Sinai. Don’t get distracted, not even by prayer.
A businessman once approached the Tzemach Tzedek, the third Chabad Rebbe, just before the morning service to ask for a loan. He needed cash to buy some wares at the local market. The Tzemach Tzedek suggested he return after Shul, when he could assist him. As soon as the fellow left, the Tzemach Tzedek realised that the fellow needed the cash immediately to buy stock to sell that morning. He removed his tallis and chased after the man to give him money.
When you need to act, it’s inappropriate to pray.
When someone needs you to help them, don’t offer to say Tehillim. Help them. Prayer is one of Judaism’s most powerful tools, but it cannot replace action. A Jew should always pray for the well-being of others. We should always wish others well. The key is not to fall into the trap of sending thoughts and prayers when we should be hands-on.
